In the Tentacles of Trails

Whenever you acquire something new the first step is to feed it with data. So when I registered to Diet at the beginning of May I had to run like crazy to obtain loads of kilometres to my account. I even made some trail runs and all went well until this week.

The problem came when it was only few days left until the end of month and I still haven't claimed the half-marathon challenge. So a vicious plan came in my mind: to compose unpleasant with useless and run one of the most difficult Trail Tour stages together with half-marathon. And it resulted in decent effort at both part of this madness - hunt for some digital points and for stupid digital badge! 

My performance at Trail Tour serie starts to show some signs of quality. With every new stage my performance level is rising. I already hit the great mark and also my runner class was upgraded from "lower hobby" to "upper hobby." What a promotion! ... and boost to my mental power obviously.

But running is only a part of all this bussines. Of course it's important to have good regeneration and healthy diet. So I found that the basic of good trail is to find quality refreshment point. So after trail from Allholes to Blackcheek Rocks I continued with my run over the Combs to the brewery in Niceroar.

And when I look at BeerBorec stats for May I see much better progress than wherever else. Because you know everything that begins with B is good!

Once Upon a Time There Was a Forest...

I hardly ever visit races of Economical Prague Orienteering. I make about one of this runs yearly but when there was an event held by Archduke I couldn't say no. So I board on my royal carriage and went to the very east ending of Combs to Sugarhilltop.
The race was pleasant mixing hot and cold or bright and dark spots depends if you ran over the vast glades or in the narrow ravines. I can't say I made a bad run. I put in such good effort that resulted just behind the top 10. You can see me at the first-first position...

Results
Note: I highlighted my position because I am not sure if you all understand Czech

... Alas here comes the usual issue with mental power. As there are now races lately I am hopefully still abundant of mental power. Unluckily this goes along with shortage of map practice which results in mistakes and depletion of mental power. Yeah I see you already knew that. Noone can never mess with mental power. Maybe I need my personal Mentat. Like that guy who turned woods there into dusty plains using harvesters.

Whether the displaying of the race map is strictly prohibited by the organizers I still don't want to disappoint my readers (all two of You). So here is just a teaser. Enjoy it my sweathearts!

Map of the race with significant television tower

Don't Stop Me Now Quarantine

Maybe some of you think I am really dead after the previous post... But people who really know me can bet that I will always go on. And with the lockdown I comeback even stronger. As there are no races I joined the alone Run for National Memory. And who did I ran for?

Because everybody knows Milada but when you say Záviš at best some people will remember Red Bridge. So let's fight this historical sexism with ten kilometres! I choose a track near railway station of Stony Weepersville because it looks quite plain even map said so...

... but it was just a deception. There was quite uphill not far from the start. But I decide to show no mercy and even it was rainy I showed to fellow Serbians who is their True ruler! 

All hail the Majesty!

National Mourning - The King Is Almost Dead

On Satruday 12th October the whole nation went into mourning. Because on that day His Majesty announced his first start in orienteering competition after endless nearly four-month break.

Thousands of fellow citizens waiting to see another comeback of His Majesty

His Majesty competed really hard in special venue H21Kings and did a great job finishing at the bronze position. The race took place at Hradešín which name is commonly considered to came from Hrad ('Castle') but my wise researchers found the Truth for me. The name of the village comes from the Harder brother of Charlie Sheen. And was later corrupted into Czech version. We have two main proof just in the map. First the resemblance with Charlie and that the race was hard as fuck!

Map from the race, obviously

Three Times Is Enough

Three races in the first six days of November is more racing than in total of previous six months. But so many checkpoints that these days that the crucial mistake must occur. And obviously it came at control "F" where I fucked it up as I forget that "F"ucking control. Nevermind still it was another unpleasant evening spent with racing and doping. But some dope to encourage memory would help too...

So that was time to say enough is enough. Time has come to drink some ion drinks to get back to balance of mental power and skill. And the best place was weekend trip to pub "By the Cripple" in Icebergmagnifyingglasses above Vltava where you pay fucking 50 pences for one beer and where the Errant Knight of Mapník was holding an anniversary celebration of his lifestyle magazine for better people. Amazing evening spent with golden beverage and even Golden Boy and only few gold was spent.

At Least 1st Appearance at the Last Race

As the season is ending I realized I had to visit at least one race to qualify for the Club championship which is held next weekend at a secret place. Unfortunately the last event of Prague Autumn Cup was organised by club of Very Sadistic Persons who are most famous for their torture races in the steep slopes above Bear River all the way from Blackfemale to Baldhill. However I must appraise their perverse sense of humor when they named the map of the race „Red Clay“ while you have to run 73,2% of the course on grey stones. Ok not in my case, to be honest I don’t run anymore so it was over an hour of walking in terrains which are not suitable even for any mean of human motion.

Red Clay map seen by red-blooded view 

But when I saw the map I was stunned. The section from the start to the checkpoint number 9 was so crushing that it literally made me fell at my ass while crying. Luckily my ass is too big that is was a soft landing and at least I have some short-term souvenir and another lack of mental power too.

Red Clay makes you purple make-up

Back in Madness Business

After some time I went to an O-event. And there is no better place to waste the rest of my ruined mental power than Mental Hospital of Godkrásný. I run the Ultimate category and did ultimately bad as always. But things can always get worse so at the half I realized my headlamp is depleting really quick so I had to run in stealth mode, just turning on my light to check the map. Next time I should check my batteries before the race to not run Ultimate version of Ultimate category. I am too lazy to post map here but fortunately I found a pic of me at the event site. So at least I have something to steal and post here.

BTW: Day before the race I was checking some headlamps. I am used to that after searching some goods at the internet my browser is full of ads for that specific goods. But if I visit one specific shop about which I never heard before and another day I get on train and first I saw is an advertisement for that shop that is quite too much! That really can't be coincidence! I belive I have better chance to get on train and stand head-to-head to our ex-Prime Minister.

Ad for Kronium shop which I visited day before