Devil's Head - Devil's Map

After the appalling results of Horseburns Volunteer Burners in Handcuffies fireman races

and my overall great performance through the whole career which ensured me many medals

I started my preparation for master class this Saturday.

... not an orienteering masterpiece but I still have a few years ahead of becoming a master.

Title Vanished in Hideouts

1797 – Valentine Waterman issued the first Slovenian newspaper

1797 – the Lame was discovered

1797 – Horatio Nelson lost his arm

1797 - is the amount of points I have scored during the just finished season of Prague Winter League. What a great number. Alas I need two more to beat Ivo Lore.

Glory to the Winter, honor to the losers,
shame to the Runner-up.

Гробница Деда Мороза

Двенадцатый гонка Пражской зимние лиги состоялась возле Дворе Короля в это воскресенье. Снегу как летом в Сибири и холодно как свинье уссурийске. Побежало се на карте из старой школы - с легендарный рекламой на автобусы дяди ФУЦКЕРА.

Это была грубая гонка. Вы ничего так суровой не будете посмотреть или на следующей неделе в Сочи. Только что вернулся представление в спортивное ориентирование из концентрации, Я пошел в этот смертельной гонке.

Давайте посчитаем:
всего: 9.0 версте / 300 м косяк / 1.4 часов
Я потерял это о бороду Санта Клауса...

Return to the Royal Town of Nimburg

It is just about half a year since Our last inspection mission to Nimburg and also to the garden of Saint Hildegard. Hopefully all nettles disappeared since then. Todays race was significant by the lack of contour lines.

The most brutal climb of the race

My mental power was strong this time as I was chasing Bruin runners who started before me. Yet another exclusive preformance by His Majesty who turned the race to his own image.

My personalized route

Brokeback Slope

The third stage of The Prague Winter League 53*38 took place among the cowboys of the Brokeback Slope in the Wild West. I appreciate this event very much because it raised incomes in our family saloon.

What a lovely and warm name

"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you." (Luke 6:31). It is True but bussines is bussines. And the Holy Bible does not say anything about (not) serving G-mud to friends.

Back to the sport. I also attended the race and visited every checkpoint in the forest including the lookout-tower. The first half of the race I was pursuing Sparrow ahead of my palm. Then the second half I was trying to catch the pigeons flying out of my nose.

The Devil's Comb

I Don't Go On-Gala

His Majesty.cz to ČSOS is like The Slaughter to The Czech Nightingale...

... so I am spending Saturday evening at my castle by weeping.

But do not worry, there are some independent associations which could appreciate my greatness.

Spartan Race - Just Surrender It!

The preparation for todays Spartan race was not very proper as I visited the high school reunion party after 8 years and so I came back home at three o'clock in the morning. Due to this abundance of hangover power my performance finally led to a total defeat and surrender in the Settlement of Vixen...

The day started famously in the morning as I went by the public love wagon full of passion and Mexican rapers.

 

All started at Sparta Arena and the adventure includes everything.

Mud

Home of the 99 Praga workers

Tricky obstacles

And of course breathtaking panoramas...

Lack of Mental Towers

Abundance of Prague Powers

"The only good tourist is a dead tourist."

Fictive Runner

3rd Prague Towers

around 2013 A.D.

German tourism, Italian tourism, Spanish tourism - racing torturism.

Exchange of the Castle Guards - nothing to regard.

One hundred fourty-two mintues - that's all, ende schluss.

Trust me. I am not a scientist: Golden Eppendorf

On Wednesday I attended a night race in the Necky forest. The competiton was organised only for researchers but as once I am the Majesty I can go everywhere. Below you can see the map of the race with my routechoice. Please take on your headlight and turn it on to see the map properly.

After Hundred Years In A Quarantine And At A Football Game

The preparation for Waterville Carp is going on so I have not much time to write about some not-top races which I attended last weekend. So here is a short report.

Saturday 10/05/13: Sprint race at Jirovec Square. And it was very prestigious race as His Majesty was kept in a quarantine. The time of the day was 20:42.

20:42

My routechoice at the sprint at Jirovec Square

Sunday 10/06/13: Classic distance at Sugartop. The competition center was in Claymore. The highlight of the day was the match of Junior Carp League between Claymore and Lower Shoreville. The final result was 5:7 as the home team scored once from penalty and twice from free-kick (so they have to visit Waterville to gain more ammunition for their next play).... And my race. I became dead after 4th control but then I got enlighted at 8th control and scored the best routechoice of October.

Junior Carp League match of Claymore against Lower Shoreville

The routechoice of the month at Sugartop

"It's Madness." "No, This Is Steeplechase!"

On Wednesday King Veličenstvidas led three Spartans to the battle at Děkankopylae againts the Pgpersian horde and their eastern allies.

This is SPARTAAA!!!

There is no need to write about the race because all was said in the biggest hit of Bohemia 5-days 2003. Just one picture in the moat after the battle.

There was the last order ahead of us: "Spartans! Tonight we dine in souterrain!" And really we Dine Hard there with Zachary, Hubert and Hudecek. But there was one more big obstacle - the way home with a blowing finish just past the tram station. In the morning I can see the miracle of the food chain: what once was my dinner has magically changed to a breakfast for pigeons. That made my day.
 

It's Friday and the ram horns are still there at Red Hill

2nd PPŽ - Race at Necky Forrest

I am not sure what was the most f*cking about the race: f*cking weather or my f*cking routechoice... Anyway I really like the F word because there is the word King in it. As no results have been available yet I can tell you that my true race time was really astonishing.

Royal map with Jester's routechoice

9.034!!! ....Not Ranking Points But Seconds On The Track

After my unsuccesful performance at Prague Long Distance Championship in 2011 (also known as Boran's Rocky Nests) I gathered all of the residues of mental power to accept another challenge – Prague Long Distance Championship 2013 in Screamhezky. My prediction of 150 minutes was almost precise. My race was two and a half hour and thirty-four seconds of stones, ravines, hills and stones. Ravines, stones, hills, stills, hivines, raills... Together with mud, brooks and a lack of refreshment points it was really a Solar Armageddon - and my performance was almost equal to Casper Van Dien – with one word: garbage!

As the competition center was situated in the forrest theater this article is ended by a folk poem about the race.

P.S.: Ask dad if you want to see the map.

The Secret of Calimero's Childhood Revealed

Welcome To The ZOO

Pigeon, Monkey, Phoenix and Little Animal Obviously. That is all I know about the last weekend. I'm sorry but I was sleeping all the time.

All started on Saturday at 9 AM: the departure was scheduled from Holešovice, but His Majesty was sleeping. And so went the rest of Saturday and Sunday. The results were cruel and the party is covered in haze...

So here are the maps from "Snivel Peak" and "Planet of the Apes"

Getting Ready for The Star Fight

Mullet Power

Balkan Tour Continues

The intenational Balkan long championship took place in Tsirkvets i Iglavogradu (awesome place well-known for its rendering plant). The competiton was tough from all of the Balkan countries and belonging territories like Hungary and Slovakia. Also many Czech competitors arrived to prove their skill in the terrains of Bulgarian Highlands.

The mental power of His Majesty was at very high level because of Freud cereals. The Elite final (H21E) was really close according to Our shameful performance. But lately some signs were uncovered that there were not so many runners being able to reach the highest level for Sunday race. So His Majesty had to content Ourself with the participation in H21D. (This category is very similar to D21H. That means adult gynander like Caster Semenaya.)

We are not sure if the name of city Třešť is from Bulgarian word „distillate“ or „punishment“ but this two words together are like synonym to the place of Our accomodation. Exactly His Majesty were not accomodate at all. We spent the whole night by the local tradition – Iglavograd hedgehog hunting. It was very exciting experinece but We warn You not to mix hedgehog hunting with hunting for Rudolphus little-deer...

So that was another Balkan experience. We would better not write about Our Sunday „run“. You can look in the results if You want to see another wretched race of His Majesty.

Carousel of Death

CTU summoned His Majesty for another orienteering fight at Czech Academic Games.

Saturday middle distance signified a great success of His Majesty. The time was not good enough but the Demon of Ben who started two minutes after Us did not catch Us up. Apparently it happened regarding that double-J did not arrive.
But Our performance was still good enough to defeat some big fishes of orienteering ("Stuffed cake thug", "C₅H₅N", "Cholerrhagia").

Sunday long distance was very cruel. Under some extemporary circumstances Our performance became a partial failure.

The main reasons were: temperature attacking hundred degrees of Fahrenheit; excessive consumption of beer-plague; sleeping in the doorframe; phenomenon of migrating North.

As You can see in the map below the competition was tough

4th NP LOB -B3 at the Free Order

The fourth night park ski-o event took place at the Gulch of Suffusions. His Majesty made some mistakes but We were still able to achieve top ten in the final standing. We got lost at the route from 11 to 8 and We lost Our way to the bridge and the brook-crossing was very cold.

This weekend His Majesty will try to survive another Ski-O stand at the Three Wells near the New Bulgarian Settlement. As seen below the understanding with the natives would be difficult.

A Quarter-thousand of Minutes in the Forest

Exactly our performance on both weekend Championships took 251 :15. That means over fifteen thousands seconds of excessive strain...ugh!

... but His Majesty is improving on long distance. Last year Our result at the race of Northstar Tirana was +79 minutes. This year it is only +60 minutes.
I must say: keep moving His Majesty and You will not be competition nihilist anymore!

Here is the map from the race with a very important message from the organizers: