Maybe the Best Majesty's Article of May

Another month is over since the last blog entry so here is a short report from two main events of May.

1st paragraph: Again at Tulip - this time in U-woof

My fifth participation at the Tulip turned to a shameful defeat. My performance was really lousy so I put my results in the excel to create a spreadsheet which gave me a sorrowful feedback. I am almost six time worse than the ideal runner. But the next volume of Tulip will be held in more than 500 days so I have to improve my shape by one percent every day to gain a perfect result next year.

It is always good to find some positives and here is one: I have finished fifteen stages of Tulip without being disqualified!

Bonus for BT friends - The Museum of Blllllllllllllllll

2nd paragraph: Organizing - We are firmly in the Saddle 
   

This year first federal ranking competition was held by our club at the mature south of Bohemia in Albrechtville by Sushi Town. The proximity of this city well-known for Japanese food has lead to an animosity to all Chinese (see the picture from the latest protest - link).

Saturday - Everything went okay except the hockey. So I could go to the Royal bed without any concern.

Sunday - When eighteen is enough to drink beer then eighteen refresh points should be enough for long distance race. But being the CRETEN (= "Chief of Refreshment Executive of 10th level") was a though challenge. However after the discovery of the initial concept of Sunday refresh points the reality was easy-going.

Another Start of Season on Arrakis

First race in 2014: sand, map-change, great loss, ...

First race in 2015: sand, map-change, great loss, ...

The only one diffrence was that last year I forgot knee-socks and this year I didn't take a mirror with me. So maybe I will have better luck next year.

Aftermath: not only planes are falling down from the sky recently.

So get ready!

A surprise doesn't suppose to be always positive but it has to be big!

And what a big surprise awaited me on Sunday morning.

Hammertime

...and the loser - the loser is - is MC - MC Majesty.com...

Can't run this

Can't run this

Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)

Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) My-my-my-my map keeps me so hard makes me say oh Mr Frost Thank you for blessing me with a course to die and two lame feet

That's good when you know I am down

A super dope homeboy from the Eyetown

And I'm known as such

And this is a course uh I can't run

I told you homeboy I can't run this

Yeah that's how we're mrchin' and you know I can't run this

Look in the maps man I can't run this

You know let me bust the funky bushes I can't run this

Fresh new kicks and pants

You got it like that now you know I wanna yield

So move out of your seat

And get a fly girl and catch this beer

While it's rollin' hold on map a little bit

And let me know it's going on like that like that

Cold on a mission so pull on back

Let 'em know that you're too much

And this is a race uh I can't run

Yo I told you I can't run this

Why you standing there man I can't run this

Yo sound the loudspeaker is in sucker I can't run this

Give me a beer or wine

Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving up

Now they know when you talk about the Hammer

You talk about a show that's hyped and tight

Runners are sweatin' so pass them a map

Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take

And now he's gonna burn

The charts legit either work hard

Or you might as well quit

That's word because you know

Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)

Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)

Break it down

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)

Stop Hammer time

Go with the flow in a spin if I can't move to this

Then I probably am dead

So wave your hands in the air

Bust through the moves run my fingers through my head

This is it for a winner

Gallop to this and I'm gonna get thinner

Move slide my rump

Just for a minute let's all do the bump

Bump bump bump yeah

Can't run this

Look man I can't run this You'll probably get hyped boy 'cause you know I can't I can't run this Ring the bell race's over break it down (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) Stop Hammer time (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh) (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) I can't run this (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) I can't run this (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) I can't run this (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) Stop Hammer time Every time you see me that Hammer's just so hype I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the chip Now why would I ever stop running this With others makin' races that just don't hit I toured around the world from Levski to Braník It's Hammer go Hammer It's a Hammer yo Hammer and the restaurant hey Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) Can't run this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) Yeah I can't run this I told you I can't run this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh) Too hype can't run this Get me outta here I can't run this (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

but I ran this

Direction South - Direction Middle-East

Here is a long-delayed article about the latest races of His Majesty on 10th to 11th and on 17th to 18th of May.

The first round of Czech "B" Cup was held on halfway from Prague to the Middle-East region – home of famous clubs like Arabia Shumperq, United Hana Emirates, Zhabistan or Saudi Ostravia. You can also find many petroleum princes in the results like Al Qaydi, Al Da or Al Yosha. But the results were the biggest problem during the races because somebody turnoff the computer during the Sunday race. Briefly the organizers from Heinrichs Graz prepared nice races - rainy and tough.

The first round of Czech "A" Cup was held on halfway from Prague to the Middle-East region – home of famous clubs like Arabia Shumperq, United Hana Emirates, Zhabistan or Saudi Ostravia. You can also find many petroleum princes in the results like Al Qaydi, Al Da or Al Yosha. But the results were the biggest problem during the races because somebody turnoff the computer during the Sunday race. Briefly the organizers from Cownewmoon prepared nice races - rainy and tough.

Race of Mrrrrrr!ching Hill

The start of the spring orineteering season was launched on the planet of Dune just outside the Atreides military base. The terrain was rough and the sandworm nearly ate my legs.

Remains of the treacherous attack

I tried my best but nevertheless my progress through the race was slower than the Ordos saboteur. The Vagus Mobile has overtaken me like Shinkansen just after the map change (new Personal achievment: "to make a change of a map during a race"). But it was a tough competition between me and Slovakian Croissant on the second lap. Anyway my mental power has risen at the roundabout in the northern part of map where I saw Charcoal Burner and gained some self-confindence that I would not take the Timber. And so it was. Anyway finishing my first race for my third club not on the last position marks great expectations for the upcoming season.

Map of the race with the whole track H21L. For the results, splits and my routechice ask my mentat.

Sergei Stokurev Race

100-control race took place yesterday. But my disappointing performance kick me down to the second league so I had to find only 76 checkpoints. A brief story from my run is described below.

1st control - done

2nd control - done

3rd control - done

4th control - done

5th control - done

6th control - done

7th control - done

8th control - done

9th control - done

10th control - done

11th control - done

12th control - done

13th control - done

14th control - done

15th control - done

16th control - done

17th control - done

18th control - done

19th control - done

20th control - done

21st control - done

22nd control - done

23rd control - done

24th control - done

25th control - done

26th control - done

27th control - screwed

28th control - done

29th control - screwed

30th control - done

31st control - done

32nd control - done

33rd control - done

34th control - done

35th control - done

36th control - done

37th control - done

38th control - done

39th control - screwed

40th control - done

41st control - screwed

42nd control - done

43rd control - done

44th control - done

45th control - done

46th control - done

47th control - done

48th control - done

49th control - done

50th control - done

51st control - done

52nd control - done

53rd control - done

54th control - done

55th control - done

56th control - done

57th control - done

58th control - done

59th control - done

60th control - done

61st control - done

62nd control - screwed

63rd control - screwed

64th control - done

65th control - wrong

66th control - done

67th control - done

68th control - done

69th control - done

70th control - done

71st control - done

72nd control - done

73rd control - done

74th control - done

75th control - done

76th control - done

Finsh - end

Go home

Merry Bikers Without Bikes

Satruday: sprint training in West Givemore only for invited V.I.P.

Sunday: His Majesty was organizing the middle distance race in Invitemoreville. The center of the competition was very friendly.

Children, where ends every race?

Every race ends in a pub.

Monday: Sprint competition in Taketon.

Poor effort by His Majesty who finished just behind Washing Machine (same as at the Where? race one week before). I did not make any big mistake but my pace was slow as You can see on my O-track below.

But that was only a prolog for much more challenging afternoon stage of Tour de Glass in the local brewery. I am curious what species of bear do they have in Bearoun as it was only the end of October and the service in the Bear Brewery seemed put deeply into hibernation. Despite that bad conditions His Majesty had fought bravely.

Final causalities on the side of the Bear Army: one glass biker, two golden horses, one gaylord sponsored by Pine and finally three plastic bikers who persecuted us in our train.

Captain Contour Strikes Back

This is how the profile of my race should look like if I had finished it:

And here is the reality:

The competition was organised by the Hispanic club of Los Melnikos in the forest of Los Sarcamento. The name of the map "General Sakra" refers to the disillusion when Your find out that white means green and green means Sarcamento State green. So after two-months Summer break I chose a tactic called "start-4th control-finish" which was almost the best one... Alas the fourth control was on the other edge of the race area. To the best of My belief I can say it was one of the worst Autumn PPŽ that I have ever run. If You are curious about the results than visit the website of the race.

Sudetenrelax - I Go Down I

Maybe You know the feeling when You are losing ranking points. It feels like a piece of Your mental power is dying inside of You. And my mental power registered big death rate this spring...

But there is one cure for this situation: relax and then go one. So I start my relaxation in Western Bohemia. And why not play Wolfstein in real... Honestly, do you know better entertainment than expelling the rests of Nazis from Our western borderland?





Anyway I still had some time to fulfill my royal duties like visiting the domain of the Court Photographer the Earl of Early Rustical Chicken.

Now I my back full of mental power so let's get to the trai... royal laziness and feasts.

9.034!!! ....Not Ranking Points But Seconds On The Track

After my unsuccesful performance at Prague Long Distance Championship in 2011 (also known as Boran's Rocky Nests) I gathered all of the residues of mental power to accept another challenge – Prague Long Distance Championship 2013 in Screamhezky. My prediction of 150 minutes was almost precise. My race was two and a half hour and thirty-four seconds of stones, ravines, hills and stones. Ravines, stones, hills, stills, hivines, raills... Together with mud, brooks and a lack of refreshment points it was really a Solar Armageddon - and my performance was almost equal to Casper Van Dien – with one word: garbage!

As the competition center was situated in the forrest theater this article is ended by a folk poem about the race.

P.S.: Ask dad if you want to see the map.

Balkan Tour Continues

The intenational Balkan long championship took place in Tsirkvets i Iglavogradu (awesome place well-known for its rendering plant). The competiton was tough from all of the Balkan countries and belonging territories like Hungary and Slovakia. Also many Czech competitors arrived to prove their skill in the terrains of Bulgarian Highlands.

The mental power of His Majesty was at very high level because of Freud cereals. The Elite final (H21E) was really close according to Our shameful performance. But lately some signs were uncovered that there were not so many runners being able to reach the highest level for Sunday race. So His Majesty had to content Ourself with the participation in H21D. (This category is very similar to D21H. That means adult gynander like Caster Semenaya.)

We are not sure if the name of city Třešť is from Bulgarian word „distillate“ or „punishment“ but this two words together are like synonym to the place of Our accomodation. Exactly His Majesty were not accomodate at all. We spent the whole night by the local tradition – Iglavograd hedgehog hunting. It was very exciting experinece but We warn You not to mix hedgehog hunting with hunting for Rudolphus little-deer...

So that was another Balkan experience. We would better not write about Our Sunday „run“. You can look in the results if You want to see another wretched race of His Majesty.

DDT - The Dynamic Diamonds Theory

The Diamond Theory

Waterville Carp Is Getting Near

If You do not know what Waterville Carp is about then You cannot miss an extra-ordinary documentary film about the last volume of this magnificient event.

Supereaster Superstar

Plenty of famous movie stars arranged a meeting at the Windows NT 3.1 pub. And His Majesty was there also!

Veličenstvo.com's Ressurection AKA I go on V

WTF, His Majesty is pissed off, Veličenstvo.com's blog is pissed off and another VRL competition is obviously pissed off too...

But what I wanted to say:
In 2008 someone claimed protest about sprint competiton because of unsurpassable cliff...

In 2005 someone claimed title from the national sprint championship by surpassing unsurpassable cliff...

HOWGH

Beerienteering Leads To Supremacy

Great Britain has done it. They are now the True Champions... and His Majesty knows the reason why. The spies of Veličenstvo.com have investigated new progressive training methods in the UK. Here is one exclusive picture of beerienteering:


So maybe attitude of BT is right...

Find Roland Quiz, What?!

Today is the day after The Day of Saint Roland, what?! And His Majesty with the help of Roland Bakery presents special contest for You, what?! Try to find Roland (or Rolands or Rolandas), what?!

Please send Your answers to:

Mr. Roland Bomba
Pekařství Roland
Kohoutovice
PSČ 10 20 30

Champions!

Do You Know BT, What?

And do You know about their silly consumption limit, what? One beer per day, what? Sounds like a joke for His Majesty - tommorow he scored the number 371 since the beginning of November, what?