Don't Stop Me Now Quarantine

Maybe some of you think I am really dead after the previous post... But people who really know me can bet that I will always go on. And with the lockdown I comeback even stronger. As there are no races I joined the alone Run for National Memory. And who did I ran for?

Because everybody knows Milada but when you say Záviš at best some people will remember Red Bridge. So let's fight this historical sexism with ten kilometres! I choose a track near railway station of Stony Weepersville because it looks quite plain even map said so...

... but it was just a deception. There was quite uphill not far from the start. But I decide to show no mercy and even it was rainy I showed to fellow Serbians who is their True ruler! 

All hail the Majesty!

National Mourning - The King Is Almost Dead

On Satruday 12th October the whole nation went into mourning. Because on that day His Majesty announced his first start in orienteering competition after endless nearly four-month break.

Thousands of fellow citizens waiting to see another comeback of His Majesty

His Majesty competed really hard in special venue H21Kings and did a great job finishing at the bronze position. The race took place at Hradešín which name is commonly considered to came from Hrad ('Castle') but my wise researchers found the Truth for me. The name of the village comes from the Harder brother of Charlie Sheen. And was later corrupted into Czech version. We have two main proof just in the map. First the resemblance with Charlie and that the race was hard as fuck!

Map from the race, obviously

Three Times Is Enough

Three races in the first six days of November is more racing than in total of previous six months. But so many checkpoints that these days that the crucial mistake must occur. And obviously it came at control "F" where I fucked it up as I forget that "F"ucking control. Nevermind still it was another unpleasant evening spent with racing and doping. But some dope to encourage memory would help too...

So that was time to say enough is enough. Time has come to drink some ion drinks to get back to balance of mental power and skill. And the best place was weekend trip to pub "By the Cripple" in Icebergmagnifyingglasses above Vltava where you pay fucking 50 pences for one beer and where the Errant Knight of Mapník was holding an anniversary celebration of his lifestyle magazine for better people. Amazing evening spent with golden beverage and even Golden Boy and only few gold was spent.

At Least 1st Appearance at the Last Race

As the season is ending I realized I had to visit at least one race to qualify for the Club championship which is held next weekend at a secret place. Unfortunately the last event of Prague Autumn Cup was organised by club of Very Sadistic Persons who are most famous for their torture races in the steep slopes above Bear River all the way from Blackfemale to Baldhill. However I must appraise their perverse sense of humor when they named the map of the race „Red Clay“ while you have to run 73,2% of the course on grey stones. Ok not in my case, to be honest I don’t run anymore so it was over an hour of walking in terrains which are not suitable even for any mean of human motion.

Red Clay map seen by red-blooded view 

But when I saw the map I was stunned. The section from the start to the checkpoint number 9 was so crushing that it literally made me fell at my ass while crying. Luckily my ass is too big that is was a soft landing and at least I have some short-term souvenir and another lack of mental power too.

Red Clay makes you purple make-up

Back in Madness Business

After some time I went to an O-event. And there is no better place to waste the rest of my ruined mental power than Mental Hospital of Godkrásný. I run the Ultimate category and did ultimately bad as always. But things can always get worse so at the half I realized my headlamp is depleting really quick so I had to run in stealth mode, just turning on my light to check the map. Next time I should check my batteries before the race to not run Ultimate version of Ultimate category. I am too lazy to post map here but fortunately I found a pic of me at the event site. So at least I have something to steal and post here.

BTW: Day before the race I was checking some headlamps. I am used to that after searching some goods at the internet my browser is full of ads for that specific goods. But if I visit one specific shop about which I never heard before and another day I get on train and first I saw is an advertisement for that shop that is quite too much! That really can't be coincidence! I belive I have better chance to get on train and stand head-to-head to our ex-Prime Minister.

Ad for Kronium shop which I visited day before

Gigantic Achievment

The 15th of Janury 2017 will be written in the history of O-sports in frozen letters as a day of returning of SOC (Skate Orienteering Competitions) to the calendar of PZL after nearly a five year delay. This skating event also became a world record holder of the lowest number of competitors who completed the race on skates. The final number was 0 out of 13 successful runners/skiers.

The race took place at the Floods Pond which really suits to the type of competiton which could be easily described like a waterskiing on ice. So it wasn't weird to absolve a part of the race off the ice.

And no to the results in a brief. An amazing performance by His Majesty - first podium in his first start of year 2017. So let's move to other big aims of this year.

Diploma

Map of Serbian Giant (note: gigantic size)

PPŽ – summary / delay / mercy is still alive in Czech Republic

42./DNS/26./26. on PPŽ 

 KAM/PGP/ROZ/HCE 

 It's time to make some statement about my runs at PPŽ. 

I have a mixed feeling, cause it could have been better, but also much worse. But in retrospective I can say I’m satisfied with not yet the Cup finished. The worst performance came on the second tier during race in which i didn't compete. I lost contact with the race at the forking of underground after I went with metro line A although the race was at the terminal station of line C. Before every PPŽ race I don't feel like I'm going to screw it. I want to fight... but almost everybody is running even better than me. I would write it's really nice to have such a strong bronze men's team... but it could sound a little gay.

---

One really unpleasant experience came on Wednesday afternoon. I entered myself into upcoming Pupils Cup jungle sprint. I asked God if I can start in the race after I finished elementary school in the beginning of this millennium. Nobody cared. So I raced and lost myself. An obstacle appeared on my way to the race. A guy at the train station asked me 14 Czech crowns for ticket from Prague-Havelville to Hostmore. That was cruel. In Czech Republic you know it's advantage to use public transport. After the race of PPŽ I decided to run home on the same day! haha... Fame on you Bottle, Honorpine and others... You shouldn't probably train as much, if such an lame competitor can't finish less then 9-14 minutes after you. I am 25th nobody and nobody care. And everyone is even happy cause I bring my Royal credit to the race. But nobody would have played rules against the Majesty in any case I'm sure. I have no power to glorify anyone because I had to run all the way back home. Although being a not as young - little bit veteran without any ambitions.

They call it Pupils Cup but none from the competitors is pupil and not at all none of them figure high. And when I tried to roll in nettle this is what happened. I'm fucked up. Now I'm focusing just on inside Prague races and international biathlon races for the rest of the year. Current World Cup standings.

(exhausting anabasis back to Kingdom)

Maybe I took it too personally but that's me. I'm not gonna spend fucking 14 CZK on train back home.