Last Two Weeks of July

After B.O.T.A.S. I got injured again this time with my left foot so I couldn't train my stamina as much as I would like to. So I had to find some other entertainment...

Hiking: I attended the jubilee 50th trip with my touristic club which was two days in the sandstones of Broumov, the work name should be "His Majesty Quest for Cuesta". But it was more a pilgrimage to the all my fellow fatboys of year 1986. Even my reservoir has reduced a bit I am still with you guys and I love you all!

Translation from Czech: "Fatboys '86"

So I worked out a bit at the challet of Star to put something on my Diet dashboard.

One small lunch for His Majesty, big leap for whole Kingdom

Family: The next week I visited the shire of my royal house - the Esh Principality with royal cemetery at Turretville. There is one speciality in our Royal family that the Crown always belong to the youngest offspring of the King. And Queen Josephine was really a True noble giving birth to six Princes while living one year less than the current Majesty.

His Majesty's Grandfather  (top left) and his five older brothers; Royal grave

And here is maybe one explanation why the Kingdom is still without any heir to the Throne. Not even the beer consumption is making it better.

Racing: However I managed at least one single racing performance: It was 10th stage of Mr. Freezer O-League. That really wasn't my first start at the Damned Dam so I could run big bombs. Just look at the map with my routechoices - the biggest bombs at controls 10, 11, 13 and 14. What a fine boost for my mental power finally!!!

Aftermath: I almost forgot to mention that sometimes I also work. Even I suck it is good to know it can always be worse. So I shoot a short motivation vid present how hard is life when your job is just a piece of shit:

Big Orienteering Trail Alcohol Suffering

Finally famous BOTAS has arised - first real weekend races and my first multi-days races after many years. The races took place in the eastern Bohemia but the organizers prepared the control descriptions in Romanian tricolor to remind everybody that we were so close to the borders of Balkan.

Sparta? This is madness!

It was called Highland Cup but that name was very smelly, like rotten salami. I would say it was more Iron Mountains Cup but judge by yourself when you look in the maps from the event.

All race maps together

But at least they served good beer from Husbanddestroy. Filling up the first beer-ticket was piece of cake. Such easy as to eat free portions of risotto the next day.

I also attended beer relays for the first time in the history of my Kingdom. And it was very special race - the Championship of the whole Galaxy! I started as the first researcher of the Institute of Eugenics with start number 18. I made very good effort beating for example team of famous astronomer or team of Epicurean husband of Bottle. But the two other legs of my relay who come from the genome of Human Positives Sets couldn't keep the pace with beer which resulted in double disqualification. Anyway nice expierence for the next decade.... or maybe decadence...

My starting position

As I did very well during the relays my later appearance at the party was a big shame. It was more no appearance and I am still gathering mental power to learn what happened and why I didn't have power to fill up my second beer-ticket...

Party pole - alas no pole dance from His Majesty

So on Sunday I have enough power to heat up the map more all around the competition centre.

All weekend runs

And when I feel like a maniac I couldn't have enough after three races in three days. So I went for Trail Tour. Hopefully when I find I am not alone I recognized I am not such an idiot...

Cutout of my neighbours at Cut segment

...but when I finally came home and I went straight to the bar where I drank like an idiot then you must admit I am an idiot. However there was no other way because the third niece of Little Hair (frontman of the music band "Flase Strumming") was born. It looks like Little Hair's sister is making her own Slavia female relay and we really needed to celebrate that.

One third of my Sunday consumption in one picture

Hopefully everytime when all this frenzy comes to an end it is nice to see that I have at least one fellow follower.

 

Hail Jesus! Hail Majesty!

COM.dyne Systems: Genisys

I guess you know the ancient True: the health and the prosperity of the Kingdom come straight from the King's fitness. And as you could see from the previous seasons the shape of His Majesty was more round than sharp. At the peak moment one single Veličenstvo Com's Crown was worth more than two hundreds of British Pounds!

Highest value of VCC at foreign markets

What a crisis situation?! So the best brains from the whole Kingdom were summoned to came to the Court and began a rescue plan to make Veličenstvo not that Great again. Their hard work was successful so they could introduce brand new autonomous royal cyborg with serial number M-8605, simply called "Majestinator". Here is a photo straight from the underground laboratories representing the elevation of the king.

M-8605 on it's way up

The device is connected to supercomputer which is controlling all it's vital stats like activity, training, sleep, weight. Also improving it with brand new retro cover...

M-8605 trying to regain some popularity

...and here start the troubles. When you think you made everthing the best way but no you didn't - you screwed it. The Royal scientists went completely mad when they put all the best modern software in obsolete (almost veteran) hardware of His Majesty. So what should happen with all these technologies? Yes you guess right the hull couldn't bear such load and was heavily damaged in last appearance. 

Wrecked M-8605 awaiting repair

And there is also another aspect our bright scientists didn't have in mind in these times of green energy. Old mobiles from 20th century are run on beer. That's something nobody can change and no smart application could ever cope with. And His Majesty needs gallons of "dirty" fuel to run all its systems smooth!

M-8605 refuelling 

1.000 of Trail Points

If you read my last post carefully you might think I collect only beers. But last two weeks were also in the name of collecting TT points. So here is the short summary of my performance. 

Note: Following article should contain some personal statements.

TT #02 Necky Forest / Tuesday 16th of June

It all started on last Tuesday in my team's homeforest. My team's not mine so still I had to use map for this easy trail. What a shame!...

...but maybe I redeemed myself a bit by wearing my new jersey for the first time?....

...or by running in those dirty Praga long compression socks?...

...or by filling my training meter for the first time?

SABZO - Run through the Star / Thursday 18th of June

I don't want to say that virtual races are something bad but sometimes you need something more challenging like some real cross country running race. So I followed the advice of our coach and attended the 43th edition of Run through the Star. This was my first race after more than four years. Last time I attended 39th edition of this race with finishing time 31:37. So at least I made some improvement since then. Alas even I ran not that bad I nearly was awarded the infamous Log of Praga. Hopefully the Younger Ground-Squirell saved me by registering himself for different team.

TT #30 Goat Spines / Friday 26th of June

As usual it all started badly after I nearly didn't reach the start of the trail. I used to go by train to Solutions before the COVID outbreak for long runs after work but this was my first time after the lockdown. I was in time for my train but as the bridge of the guy whose name can't be written (it contains the forbidden N* word) I was waiting at the station not at the stop. So I had to wait another twenty minutes for the arrival of Arriva trainweck....

As you can see from my results I could better take the underground and go home.

TT #15 Screamnothingville / Sunday 28th of June

This stage was complete disaster right from the start until the bitter end. My legs hurt and so was down my mental power. I always thought the forests there are quite plain but today I definetly learnt why they made so many curves on the railway track. However I finished the race and no matter my time I finally leap over 1.000 points in the Trail Tour '20 competition.

This afwul performance made me realize that I need some quality regeneration. So I decided to try some swimming. And why aiming at some little goals when I can always try harder so I swam across the well-known Macha Lake. Three times as you can see from my GPS record below!

5.000 Shades of Amber

Not only kilometers are needed to be count. And today I reached another big achievment in my beer training. Five thousands days of beer diary that makes me a True Beerborec legend from now on.

My overall performance was going from bad to worse since I started but I made a good comeback this month with beer consumption average above 3.00 in June.

The pace at the finish was crucial reaching my threshold zone with 10.00 average in last three days.

The Art of Choosing the Right Event

Just when I felt down after another unsatisfying result at the Higland Championship there arrived an envoy with a message to participate at the Anniversary Running Tourism to the Picnic in Prague Botanical Garden. I am not sure if you know the feeling when everybody around is flooding their social media with podium photos but I know it right. So the event I was invited to is really the best one to boost up my mental power.

There is always less than ten runners and three prizes in the final raffle. All you have to do is just to finish the track in at least leisure pace. This year the number of participants was heavily reduced by still ongoing coronacrisis and also by bad weather. Hopefully bad for tourists but excellent for runners. Only problem was to take care about the slippery pavements. The start took place at the Museum of Thimble with only one male and one female contestants.

And after ten kilometers of honest work all around the river of Vltava I reached the finish. All the crowds behind the barriers were cheering as I crossed the finishline despite being the last but one.

Just after the finish I was interrogated by a member of municipal police about my new Hooker One One running shoes. My explanation seemed to be valid so I was freed and could go to the prizegiving ceremony.

I was awarded a nice camping mat. I think I could pass it to some fellow squire but also I obtained a nice diploma.

But the best benefit was a free admission into the Botanical Garden and even in that rainy day I could take a relaxing walk through the different expositions. The highlight in my eyes was the Mediterranean nature. You won't believe you can find such a scenery right in the hearth of Europe.

I Go On MMXX - First Real Race of the Season

It has been more than eight long months since I could visit last normal O-race. So I hope it does not look like an addiction that I went this week almost to the borders of Balkan to make my first start of this season - in the middle of June.

Hopefully with the great effort of organizers everything went smooth. We all know the high moral standard of all O-runners so no Government regulations were vioalted and the event could be held without any difficulties. Just see it by yourself below.

Note: my special programm just censored those few runners who just were in need of doing some activity that prevented them wearing facemask

Center of the race at Pine Parquet

And what about my performance - the best of the season so far I would say. Up and down, I mean mentally down and physically up, that brought me to beat League-100 at least with fine reserve and without extras.

Killed man's map

Despite spending nearly one hunder minutes in the terrain my watches told me I did only maintance training. So I guess it is time to fuck off with training. I am going to be an activist!

Twice around the dial

Relaxing Seems to Became the Most Difficult after the Crisis

Last week I wanted to relax but unfortunately everything went wrong as you can easily see from my previous post. And not even the weekend was helpful. As you could see lately I was struggling with my Chinese watches Xiaomiurpussy so I decided to made a big leap in my training and use the force of Polar bear. Because that beast is almost as strong as Lion power! 

And as I had to visit the shire of Herdeed I had no other chance than to participate at another stage of Trail Tour - this time in was mostly on the track of famous motorcylce Dustrocks Grand Prix. I must admit I was much slower than a motorbike but still felt like I was going to die while mixing walking with run in pace under 3:30 km/min. Alas I was awarded a "decent" rank effort. What a disappointment...

You can have world class device but still paper rocks (scissors)

After that very bad Friday I switched to another sport - cycling... but it was even worse. As you can see below sometimes it is good that ranking for segments is only for Diet subcribers. Because this is something anybody should never see.

And here is the reason because when Party tell you to party hard you have to do it with the highest intesity.

The whole relaxing week was maybe the most intense of whole year.

Crucial beginning of new month

With the start of the new week let's get back to the training. My new device telling me I need to gain more muscles to raise my Lion Power. But I really have no clue how to achieve that. Or maybe I just acquried wrong model as it is called Polar but should have been Bi-polar instead. Because only another person can help me to endure all that training load...

More muscles, really?!

Two Runs in One Afternoon

Because one race in one day is not enough for me I chose to made two appearances within less than one hour on Tuesday.

Episode I: O-league vol. 5

The first event was organized by Mr. Frost in a Chimickee Groove that lies between Nicegods and Marevilles. The director of O-league serie made very good effort to map every single shit in the terrain. And there was a lot of stinky shits out there. So everybody who run this race in medical veil was in big advantage.

The most shitiest spot in the forest

  

The race contained four laps two on each side of the map. I made again quite good effort especially when running the Ulitmate category without paths in the map. But in the last lap I was caught up by Mr Carbon so I put the map in my pocket and just raised my carbon footprint all the way to the finish. I know it is a bit unsportsmansmanlike and non-ecological but this hack helped me to defeat Rye Breader and that definetly a worthy scalp.

As long as some hackers are putting some mess to my social networks I again had problem to get the virutal rerun of my race to Diet. Anyway as long as the race is still on I won't show you the track to keep it fair play. However I still saved some data and you can enjoy my routechoice in pic below. I know the view is thrilling but the reality was much more bushy than my hairy arm.

Rerun of my effort

Episode II: Givemores Road 10K

        

Even without running an O-event just hour ago this race is hard as diamond on my Crown. It's ten beerometers of hard work mostly on asphalt or paving. You can find only two positives: first there is plenty of refreshment points on the track and second you can never run out of mental power during this event.

Map of Givemores Road 10K

Here are some of the highlights from the race:

        

1st checkpoint and start at Tocancercarrier Pub: some athletes were late some didn't even find the start...

2nd checkpoint at Longlasting Caffé: scared waitress thought we are some kind of covidriders so we must keep distance there...

3rd checkpoint at Givemores Falconery: if you are a falcon you can jump over the goat but when you run this race u must suck a goat and go ahead...

4th checkpoint at Sharpening Machine: first crucial point - the point where you could show if you were sharp enough to choose the right storey and if you could try for first escape from the peloton - that in my case ended in the nearest fast-food...

5th checkpoint at Givemores Railway Station: we spent some nice time with pleasant chat about God while eating kebab. Then flushed it with quick Oldspring and moved on...

6th checkpoint at Beer Certainty: I took it easy and got low degree Factory wastewater. It was at discount offer so win-win situation...

7th checkpoint at By Yawners: not bad visit, Musa put the ball in the net, I put the "G" down my throat...

8th checkpoint at Budvarka: Postman closed the office so we had to go round another corner to drink Czech national treasure...

9th checkpoint at Oasis: what a disappointment. Really like a True oasis with some Arabic marketplace. We had to pay baksheesh to the barman then to self-called bodyguard. Hopefully they had no dog or camel otherwise we had to bribe them too. So after my most expensive Braník in my live (100 CZK) we took straight direction to the finish...

10th checkpoint and finish at Clubhouse: to drink the last beer we had to use our fine motor skills at its best because it consisted of two small beers poured from bottle into a plastic cup. But we made it and here is the Hall of Fame ... or Shame ...

10K Winning Team

In the Tentacles of Trails

Whenever you acquire something new the first step is to feed it with data. So when I registered to Diet at the beginning of May I had to run like crazy to obtain loads of kilometres to my account. I even made some trail runs and all went well until this week.

The problem came when it was only few days left until the end of month and I still haven't claimed the half-marathon challenge. So a vicious plan came in my mind: to compose unpleasant with useless and run one of the most difficult Trail Tour stages together with half-marathon. And it resulted in decent effort at both part of this madness - hunt for some digital points and for stupid digital badge! 

My performance at Trail Tour serie starts to show some signs of quality. With every new stage my performance level is rising. I already hit the great mark and also my runner class was upgraded from "lower hobby" to "upper hobby." What a promotion! ... and boost to my mental power obviously.

But running is only a part of all this bussines. Of course it's important to have good regeneration and healthy diet. So I found that the basic of good trail is to find quality refreshment point. So after trail from Allholes to Blackcheek Rocks I continued with my run over the Combs to the brewery in Niceroar.

And when I look at BeerBorec stats for May I see much better progress than wherever else. Because you know everything that begins with B is good!