A Swan Song at Aswan

It is more than half a year since the last post on this blog but don't be sad, not many orienteering happened in the last six months of His Majesty. As another winter season started it is time to take some serious running drill. Anyway todays cold weather isn't very motivating for any training so why not spend some time in a little bit warmer climate.

So His Majesty visited the land of pharaohs to attended the race "Tour de Nile Valley". The weather was hot and the sightseeing was cool. We visited a sleeping mummy in a tomb near the 3rd control, we waded through the River of Nile, we climbed up steep sandy dunes at the 5th control, we reached the peak of the Pyramid of Cheops at the 9th control.

For other monuments see the map below:

Saint Roland Dilemma

The crucial question of the last days is where to go next week on competition to celebrate the 14th of June - the Saint's day of Roland. The offer is vast but if You want to run Prague races You have to go to the western Bohemia. That is not far from where the western Bohemian races are held at the same time.

That doesn't look like a proper coordination... But maybe there is a reason. Search in the center of the triangle for solution.

Vagus Kros 2015 - Photoreport

The 2015 edition of Vagus kros took place in Highfamousville on Tuesday near one of the newest water treatment facility operated by Veolia.

The competiton was broadcasted directly to Kim and to all people in other advanced people democratic states.

Of Course the stairs couldn't be missed.

And Dan had finally cheered up. 

Only the man on the balcony remained furious. Maybe he was envious that he must stay at home and we should go to the pub "At the Envy."

Ιλιάδα III

Today His Majesty Not-Menelaos, the former king of Sparta, went to pillage Troy - the famous fort in Little Asia (established name for the territory on the eastern shore of Vltava river). Homer's epos contains many useful information about the race but there is not any reference about the steep  arid slopes of Troy hillfort. The elevation to the start is almost equal to the whole climb of weekend relay races which I have already given up. According to Iliad the siege was to last ten years but His Majesty conquered Troy in less than fourty minutes. So it was another very succesful campaign.

Vagus Kros 2015: bullshitin number 1

His Majesty is proud to be the track advisor

 of this year edition of Vagus Kros.

Only seven days until the V-day.

Be sure to get Your start number

and don't miss the registration deadline.

You can register Yourself at the usual place.

More information and merchandising on facebook.

Feeding the Media

Another enormous achievment is here - a final breakthrough into the world of printed media. But I am sorry it is only in the Czech language so I performed a shortened translation below:

Spring ...
   At...
season...
to...
race...
nearly...
fought...
   Sunday...
and Central Bohemian...
of first...
hundreds...
up to eighty...
participated...
   The competitions...
bypassed...
with pleasant...
   In the name of...
restaurant...
facility...
preparation...
local...
forest...

Maybe the Best Majesty's Article of May

Another month is over since the last blog entry so here is a short report from two main events of May.

1st paragraph: Again at Tulip - this time in U-woof

My fifth participation at the Tulip turned to a shameful defeat. My performance was really lousy so I put my results in the excel to create a spreadsheet which gave me a sorrowful feedback. I am almost six time worse than the ideal runner. But the next volume of Tulip will be held in more than 500 days so I have to improve my shape by one percent every day to gain a perfect result next year.

It is always good to find some positives and here is one: I have finished fifteen stages of Tulip without being disqualified!

Bonus for BT friends - The Museum of Blllllllllllllllll

2nd paragraph: Organizing - We are firmly in the Saddle 
   

This year first federal ranking competition was held by our club at the mature south of Bohemia in Albrechtville by Sushi Town. The proximity of this city well-known for Japanese food has lead to an animosity to all Chinese (see the picture from the latest protest - link).

Saturday - Everything went okay except the hockey. So I could go to the Royal bed without any concern.

Sunday - When eighteen is enough to drink beer then eighteen refresh points should be enough for long distance race. But being the CRETEN (= "Chief of Refreshment Executive of 10th level") was a though challenge. However after the discovery of the initial concept of Sunday refresh points the reality was easy-going.

Cultural References

A literary story about Saturday sprint race will be available in Your bookstore since Monday 20th April.

Apology: Documentary movie "Proud of Our Club" about ups and downs of SK Praga will never be released for boradcasting because of its lethal heartbreaking emotionality.

MHD Race - Majestic Historical Debacle

After the phenomenal success in the team competition of 2011 edition of O-PID Cutaway Race (His Majesty beat for example Baptist priest) it seemed that His Majesty had a big perspective in such a type of race. Especially when it is a race where You don't have to run and You just ride. But every two years it goes from worse to worst. See the diagram included below.

It's time to do a proper analysis to get prepared for the next edition in 2017. But after a brief review it seems that the crucial point for good result is to avoid the quarter of Savehunt.

Sorry Mr Sanders

Another Wednesday is here. Let's spend it as usual with the bucket and Champions League.

However another Prague Chamionship is comming this weekend - the sprint race in Bucharestgrad. So let's change the routine and take a sprint training.

I Go On MMXV - Pioneer of New Method

As the Prague Short Distance Championship fully revealed my weaknesses - low fitness, poor orientation, lack of mental power - I decided to improve my skills. So I started my training with the new feature on Maps.cz called MaMRD (Mapy.cz Memorized Round Distance). Truly it isn't as gorgeous as the gueorgious corridors. But still it is a cool training method. The rules are simple: complete the lap in the set time limit. For the first time I picked the easiest level.

And my result was astonishing - I had reserve of almost two hours (excatly my time was 1:53:09 under the limit). So I can now advance to the next level easily.

For the Third Time to Fox Gullys

Saturday Prague Short Distance Championship in Big Blacknight had good marketing, good weather, good terrain...

Championship advertisement

 ...everything was good - except my performance. Obviously!

My route-choices

Relay? - Don't Rely on Me!

My performance on Saturday Prague Relay Championship was more than satisfying. The basis of this success was laid in my decision to not take part in this race. Of course I had some silly reasons for skipping this event such a low stamina, many contour lines etc. But there were also some reasonable reasons for my decision. Here are the crucials.

1st: In reference to George Waxman there is a plenty of scrubs at the Hat.

2nd: Hatters gonna at hat. Stop this and try heal the world, make it a better place. Let's go hat free!

3rd: Also in the famous cartoon serie "The Little Kings from the Hat" is shown how the navigation is tricky in the Hat.

PS: Congratulation to my team colleagues and their heaps of gold! Mama & Papa must be satisfied.

Back in the Saddle - Bohemian Horror Story

Another Easter training camp is over and this year edition should be summarized into two words: a blizzard and a tea boiler. I know it doesn't make any sense in English but in Czech language it is such a funny stuff (blizzard = vánice, tea boiler = várnice). The blizzard reffers to the quantum of snow and the tea boiler reffers to beer drafted in it.

The other side of the camp was the survey of the terrain for the Federalampions under the Saddle which will be held in May. The terrain is hard but nice. However get ready for the close encounters of third kind. The forest around the Castle of Casper is haunted. A couple of White Ladies were spotted in the local inn and His Majesty was attacked by the Ghost of Casper. It came out of nowhere - a cold stab into my head which nearly knocked me out. Not much evidence can be found on the internet  - only a probable appearance of the Ghost of Casper (1st picture) any my real appearance after the attack (2nd picture).

Casper the ghost of Casper Castle

Bloodfie after the attack

From Zero to Hero: VIDEO BONUS

Video HERE!

Another Start of Season on Arrakis

First race in 2014: sand, map-change, great loss, ...

First race in 2015: sand, map-change, great loss, ...

The only one diffrence was that last year I forgot knee-socks and this year I didn't take a mirror with me. So maybe I will have better luck next year.

Aftermath: not only planes are falling down from the sky recently.

So get ready!

A surprise doesn't suppose to be always positive but it has to be big!

And what a big surprise awaited me on Sunday morning.

Organisatia Dementia

When You are organizing the Prague Winter League for two hundreds of competitors, all You need is a couple of people and up to twenty checkpoints....

...but when You are organizing the Prague Championship in Night Orienteering, You need: twenty organizers, fourty checkpoints, twenty diplomas, a stack of permissions. And all that for eighty runners.

But that was the better part of our weekend events in Frontal Kickmeat. The crucial point came on Sunday without Sun and with about three hundreds of cars to be parked.

But first You have to know how it looks like when His Majesty has to park his own carriage. For example at this parking in Coolec:

It is like: "Oh, please stop, don't hit the bus stop!"

So can You imagine someone parking there?

Challenge accepted.

Try Hard or Go to the Sandbox

Not only for orienteering lives His Majesty. I do a lot of other sports for example rock climbing and of course I don't have small goals. Lately I decided to conquer the summit of this beauty: the Pearl of Jestřebice.

It was a though challenge. But I mobilized all my strength and felt like the sandrock was passing meter by meter under my hands. Finally I reached the peak and the feeling was amazing. Just a little conquistador pic on the summit and go home. Other adventures are waiting.

I'm sorry but my former club of Narcissists and Amazons should do the next revision of their map more properly. Not only the vegetation is changing...

Asylum Majesty Production Presents

From Zero to Hero

What to do when my running is slowly turning into walking? Then there is nothing better than joining the running section of the Czech Tourists Club. There is a lottery with nice prizes and only one condition - reaching the finish.

The first encounter was last June when we attended the run from the Museum of Thimble to the Botanic garden. There were five runners and three prizes. So it looks promising, BUT!

The second encounter was this Saturday - the first day of Spring. The run started at Deeppegs, with an impasse to Ghoulyně Train Station and then going past the Dam of Aswan finishing at the Solar Square. Unfortunately we had Gabriela-Soukalova-alike start (see the electric pencil analysis below).

But all well that ends well (or near a well - but at the best near a kiosk with a tap)! This time we "solve" the lottery and win a backpack.

Fifty Thousands of Gays

Another milestone in my orienteering career is here! My blog reached fifty thousands of views. Fifty thousands, can You ever imagine it? For better understading: fifty thousands is like fifty times one thousand or a square root of 2,5*E9. So here are some stats.

The less I publish the more followers I have. But I am sorry, I don't do it for an ephemeral fame so I will bring You another load of silly articles. Anyway the 18th of February is now going to be The Veličenstvo.com's Day. (Maybe the Valentine will have some troubles from now on...)

Thanks to all (three) readers, (thousands of) bots, (crowd of) spammers, seventeen fans of Zeldaporn...

...and also the travel agency Yugo-star!

The article should be ended by a positive tagline: