Winner

His Majstey pretends to be the True fictive runner. More here.

Final Score

1.11.2007 - 31.10.2008: 788 pieces

Majesty Premium Collection 2009

AI Meance

I haven't published any post lately... but they nearly got me.
Read. The human race is in danger.
The Internet know must face the threatening attack of Japanese Artificial Net-Scribes Association...
I think you have already met the new prototype: Japanese Intelligent Robot I - unbelievable efficient spamming machine.
Don't try to respond it. It is immune to discusion, offences etc.
This technology is only few years old but obviously very elaborate... so I can write about it here on Veličenstvo.com because it can't break through the under 18 prohibition.
Pardon my mistakes. I must go.
See you in hell if they found me.

ps... and listen here - maybe Vapours were right...

Pornienteering

Once upon a time knight of Pirin published this comment. I hoped he was right... But now I see that having a porn site is much more prestige for O-runners than blogging. Blame on those pervert suckers whether they are frogscreamers or prague bitches.

Here are the most vicious derelicts:

Fairy-tale about fairy-tail: Zelda porn

Czech porn model Pařič Lorenc

X-Pirin - no comment

Update 09/24/2008

So I started my own page with sucking 10 seconds movies.
Oh, did I forget to tell you my second name was Arthur?!

Veličenstvo.com's Ressurection AKA I go on V

WTF, His Majesty is pissed off, Veličenstvo.com's blog is pissed off and another VRL competition is obviously pissed off too...

But what I wanted to say:
In 2008 someone claimed protest about sprint competiton because of unsurpassable cliff...

In 2005 someone claimed title from the national sprint championship by surpassing unsurpassable cliff...

HOWGH

Beerienteering Leads To Supremacy

Great Britain has done it. They are now the True Champions... and His Majesty knows the reason why. The spies of Veličenstvo.com have investigated new progressive training methods in the UK. Here is one exclusive picture of beerienteering:


So maybe attitude of BT is right...

Find Roland Quiz, What?!

Today is the day after The Day of Saint Roland, what?! And His Majesty with the help of Roland Bakery presents special contest for You, what?! Try to find Roland (or Rolands or Rolandas), what?!

Please send Your answers to:

Mr. Roland Bomba
Pekařství Roland
Kohoutovice
PSČ 10 20 30

10.6.2001

Have You ever dreamt of seeing such a star?

Have You ever wanted to meet the legendary heroes of orienteering?

Have You ever imagined sharing the podium with the O-blog leaders?

To reach such a goal is terribly hard today for His Majesty... but his dream have come True already.

Banana Crop In Progress

From our foreign correspondent: Did You also think that banana crop is a domain of tropical countries? But new banana plantation are in bonanza not far from the Czech-Bulgarian borders. The banana plantation was founded by Xi Xao, native African transported to Czech Republic by Carpet-Runner.
The main production of bananas goes into the market by notorious enterprise Banana Trade Ltd. Alas latest news speaks about a man from Slovakia who offered the highest bid and got the crushing majority of the banana crop (rumours tell the bananas will help him to feed his herd of kangaroos).
However some voices of frustration roar from the capital of Bulgaria. The envious warrior from Zulu Banana Mob claims that banana growing is a domain of Zulus and that he will try to rob the Slovakian bananas.

The Lame Warrior from ZBM

Once Upon a Time

The black sheep tried to redeem himself. Pally wasn't cake-eater. And 'strejdo' was familiar title among O-runners. Sounds like a fairy-tale? Than look here.

New Banana Advertisement

Caution: All rights were violated

Are You Also Looking Forward To The Disciplinary Comitee Verdict?

Than try the web pages of disciplinary comitee advisor, here.

Jersey change, what???

Is His Majesty trying to get to the innocent team with friendship and cakes abundant? Let's see tommorrow...

Champions!

Do You Know BT, What?

And do You know about their silly consumption limit, what? One beer per day, what? Sounds like a joke for His Majesty - tommorow he scored the number 371 since the beginning of November, what?

O-season 2008 In Danger, what!

You know orienteering is everything for me. I really love this game! But I am the Majesty and I do have work to do. Recently I must supervise the pigeon breeding for RPRA.

The pigeons are breeded in cage nests (that's reason why our kingdom was expelled from UN).


You can see below the opinion of royal pigeons about orienteering.
I hope that Mental-power leader would comment it: "Several pigeons were going to the toilet with amazing shits. To achive a success with such shoes will be terribly hard."

One Small Victory, what???

What are you talking about you small dicks dlabaja.com and jiřin.biz... and what about zhaly.kom - oops Slavia did it again, what? A BIG VICTORY!!!! yeah

The Veličenstvo.com's Paradox

I've visited Karlštejn two times recently. Last weekend during SCM training o-camp I learned two thhings: first - I am sucking o-looser (no shape, no mental power, no concentration) , second - Karlštejn is a baroque mansion... But yesterday Karlštejn was neogothic castle. WTF! Maybe the problem was in my consumption. My hint: never drink curacao after 3 AM...

But that was only prologue. On Saturday I tried harder. But warning: drinking 13 beers can cause misfortune. Anyway combination of Havana club and Griotte is not as good as it could look like. My misfortune was that I had to buy special ticket for my monkey which hung over into cat during my journey to Caput Regia.

The final highlight: Meeting my real ex-girlfried in the mass transit. I was brutally bailed like sailor, she was returning from Sunday's worship. Looks like one of us has lost the right way. Anyway if you want to meet some unreal ex-girlfriends than visit www.realexgirlfriend.com.

That's all. Red and White pride is calling me for another crushing victory! (I hope our players will stay on the pitch, like Blažek, Pudil and Abraham did in 2006, info here)

Funeral Notice

Yet another life spoiled by the cruel monarch Veličenstvo.com. After destroying the O-career of His Majesty.cz and personal life of Martin Vlach (anyway who the hell is Martin Vlach?) the tyranny has claimed next victim...

Entered Into Rest

Funeral service will be held next Tuesday at Parrot Garage

Across Cinemas Not Only In Civilized Europe Soon!!!

After overwhelming succes of 8 Gays story another astonishing movie is being shot right now, what? The Legend of Zelda: The Hero of Time will bring light to the crumpled cake cause, what? The supervisor of the movie is Roland who only knows what we did last summer, what?... Here is trailer, what? Do not miss Our Greatness at 1:00, what?

1.9.2007 about midnight: Zelda vs. Ganondorf

Bonus: From the Zelda's fans forum about the new movie:
anonymous disciplinarka writes: "Ganondorf you idiot recover yourself, decent mister Zelda had to calm you down because you were behaving like the biggest dick. Drunk, agressive and furthemore dumb. You are the one to visit the disciplinary comitee and get ban forever. Why don't you feel ashamed, if I were you I would creep through the biggest sewers. You would rather be that you have such good friends that take yours side even when they know you're swine!!!"

Easter Aftermath

No beer have I drunk since Tuesday so I can do some sober look back over my shoulder and over the Sandstone Easter. My blog honour order me to response to Dlabaja.com's complaint about the little big stone cause. I admit my fault that I used an object in map which is not intended to be a control.

As you can see in the picture the new maps of our club are equipped with a sophisticated system of microstones. This feature of our maps is incommutable and more precious than human fingerprint. This conclusive evidence of intellectual property will prevent from map-stealing and will make the world a better place to live. In addition the more north of Prague the better the microstones net is.

Abstinence Is Not So Easy

WTF! I have done a terrible mistake. I thought I would rise the spirit of Mother Lasana and Diesana for better luck in Saturdays sprint event... Alas I rose the spiritus of Lesana. I would never think that only one letter could cause such lack of mental power... Anyway I did my duty and finished right before Death Summoners and Alice's Fuckers...

P.S. From Yesterdays Results
Legend says - Spartans: Taught never to retreat, never to surrender.
But reality - sprint 2,7 km

Špringer Tomáš   TJ Slovan Luhačovice LCE8101    DISK
Štěpánek Ondřej  AC Sparta Praha      SCP8304    DISK
Havlena Martin   OK Jihlava           SJI8310    DISK
Zajíc Vítězslav  KOB TRETRA Praha     TAP8610    DISK
Rakovec Michal   AC Sparta Praha      SCP6901    DISK
Brabač Lukáš     AC Sparta Praha      SCP8505    DISK
Přeček Zdeněk    AC Sparta Praha      SCP5200    DISK
Štemberk Adam    TJ Lokomotiva Beroun LBE8904    DISK

Across Cinemas In Europe Right Now!!!

Veličenstvo.com - Fair Game !

The situation of His Majesty isn't as pink as the future of eight gays but the boldness of some Czech tabloids as Aha or Jerk-off OSS is flagrant! So Veličenstvo.com proclaims death to all parasites, paparazzis, human-beasts and hyenas!

Long Live The Monkey King

Fifteen years went by since the last visit of Xuan Zang. But His Majesty remembers as it was yesterday...

Videos from Xuan's visit in 1991 and 1993 can be found here.

The Salvation Has Come

Tuesday:

8 pieces

Wednesday:

2 pieces

---
Maundy Thursday:

8 pieces

.---
Good Friday:

8 pieces

---
Holy Saturday:

10 pieces

---
Easter Day:

Resurrection

Miloš Frýba's Birthday Today!

In the renovated pub at the Dejvice railway station. The only letters of apologies are received from those who participated at Roland's anniversary party of 8-Hot Majesty in Hradec... Those who didn't congratulate His Majesty or Miloš can lick their assholes also.

Too Many Unique Events This Weekend

I. Another Beermental has been awarded for his service to His Majesty of safe-conduct over sixteen enemy domains. This time honour goes to Whip.
II. Onanos gas station and Adalbert also had run out of Braník after our raid! Alas one bottle of Moon Shine was pillaged too...
III. Ivan is Zdenda. Zdenda is killer.
IV. We were supposed to end at the Blue Oyster but our terminal was Roland bar, what?
V. Billy-goat didn't turn into gardener but he stole place of His Majesty.

Attention: Using Frapecit in the morning cause dysemesia!

Who The Hell Is Martin Vlach?

An elaborated research with very surprising outcome has been finished recently. The answer to the main question originally formulated by Romanian wiseman Little Animal is still indistinguishable. But now it seem that the predecessors of Martin Vlach came from Šumperk.

More here.

No Spring Cup This Year

Don't try to ask me why. Even if you like to jerk-off hundred minutes on flat-shit terrain to learn at the finish you category was cancelled. I decide to try my luck at Bone Castle.
But His Majesty can't miss the Saturday night fever - the 69th anniversary of occupation. Does anybody else have some better reason for such a celebration?!

Also the Sunday relay competiton is very challenging. But will His Majesty be able to repeat phenomenal lack of respect like last year?

The picture shows His Majesty leading his warriors to the battle with the help of faithful knight of both Muck-a-Muck

You can see more here in the first act. I hope you know that I hate Sparta but everything that is against Praga is very fine.

Spring Sprint Sucks

This is an article response to My first time.

About His Majesty's response to Zhaly.kom's training:

After more than two hours of excrutiation His Majesty nearly got lost on the way from Rocky Peak (as you can see in the picture below)... Regrettably His Majesty found the way Out Of The Dark and you will not be saved from other fucking articles at Veličenstvo.com...

Beer Contest

Do you know what size is the biggest beer bottle opener in the world?!

The first and only prize is a bottle of Braník opened by this opener. Fortunately His Majesty knows the precious answer and is sure to win. However you can try not to beat him and write your answers in the comments.

2 Matches, 3 Teams of Prague Bitches, 5 Goals

That' s my score from this weekend another fucking Gambrinus league visit...



..Anyway I think I will leave out the match of AC Suckers who play tommorrow at Thracian lowlands.

From Today's News

Another assassination attemp on His Majesty has failed.

Meridian losers from SMB tried to kill the king on his return from a state call at Jizerka. Their sabotage of a high voltage mast near Mladá Boleslav was successful but they hopefully didn't manage to hit the king's coach. This act of terror was planned as a revenge for the crushing criticism of last year's O-event at Peppermint.

Advance From E to A!!!

This progress is like a little miracle at school. And so it is at Czech ski-o. Finally I seized the 29th spot in mens Elite. I hope that is not really final ranking because before me there is one cheater from "notorious movement Beerme(n)tal" (quotation: Baba Jaga on BEN). Maybe Whip has taken some lessons of dirty O-tricking from M.H.
Anyway Whip has also taken some pictures of His Majesty before Sunday race...

"Rather drinking fernet than reading shits on the internet! "

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (4x)

Friday: Beer prologue at Sandokans

Saturday: I was celebrating the gain of A-licence at ski-O. I nearly lost my jacket. I absolutely lost myself. But Tarzan Boy, Who Is Fucking Alice and Lady Karneval performed by Duo Pe was worth it... Luckily I found myself sabre-dancing at my accommodation and my jacket in next-door class. Great training for Waterville Carp!

Sunday: 136 minutes on classic distance. I could easily say that 'i wasn't prepared for such race' or narrate fairy-tales about 'lack of mental power' and 'run under my possibilities' like some self-confident Bulgarian blogger... But His Majesty can't afford such a freaky alibism.
I pay special tribute to the refreshment station with Cloister beer and my mental power leader to the control 14-49 (see bellow) Bokovka the Traincrusher. Well done!

New Ski-O discipline - Jerk O-ff controls

Which of these controls do you admire the most? What do you think about two exclamation marks at control 14-49? Share your thoughts at comments or vote in the poll.

"Le Coq Braisé"

Two thousands years ago

The painting depicts the legend of the roasted cock at King Herod's table that crowed Christ the Saviour is born.

Today

King Jarolim is feasting on what remains from London cocks after Red 'n White hurricane has plundered the White Hart Lane.

Elite Last Stand

The finish of this year ski-O season is comming on. It's been very long season as usual and the competition is very tough too. This week will be a great challenge to achieve at least the 25th spot to save Elite for next year. After half-success in my Elite premiere weekend (I was the last one only on Sunday) I am occupying the 24th spot only 0.97 pt ahead another blue and white gangster South-paw...

Two championships take place on Saturday. Great chance for me to beat some A-category runners and to not finish on the last place.

On Sunday the organizers promise shorten classic distance. I hope the courses aren't prepared by Hendy senior because his shorten classic would be only ultra long.

Cold News

Veličenstvo.com got sick by calimero flu (the most malign kind of H5N1)

His Majesty.cz is on vacancy. No training since Monday

Majesty Kim Ir-sen the Dictator was re-elected

Falco is still dead

Who driks in winter isn't thirsty in summer

So was said by Czech O-team headcoach. And if I want to be successful (as I am supposed to be) I must improve my beerborec account to 1000 beers until the start of summer season. So I started:
Wednesday: I needed to release the tension so I was pumping. Four times in two hours.
Thursday: My ignorance of building materials is startling! I never thought drinking of ready mix concrete would cause diarrhoea!
Friday: WTF! Drinking Wince beer cause diarrhoea too.

Veličenstvo.com Resurrection II AKA I go on IV

The three months banishment is over. So is winter season. And Veličenstvo.com is back! From the beginning of February I must focus on mental power renewal and self publishing. The articles will be partially my own intellectual property but the theme is stolen from Zhaly.kom's founding idea - a reduce fat blog. As I realised that my weight is only 50 kilos (maybe 50 cent) less than Eminem's (more here), I do have work to do.